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			<h1>This will all be over soon.</h1>
			<p>Day 00716: Monday, 2017 February 20</p>
		</header>
<img src="/img/CC_BY-SA_4.0/y.st./weblog/2017/02/20.jpg" alt="A last-minute photograph for a long day: glare of night" class="weblog-header-image" width="800" height="480" />
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		Unfortunately, due to the rain, I had to move my stuff as quickly as possible as to avoid giving it time to end up throughly drenched.
		I needed wheels.
		I&apos;d previously ruled out jacking a shopping cart as my shift leader had tried to convince me to do, but the situation had changed.
		I now needed to complete my move within a couple days.
		The first set of shopping carts that I went for were guarded though.
		I&apos;m not sure why, but after hours, there was an employee standing by them, effectively keeping watch.
		Last time that I saw these carts after hours, I was surprised to see that they remained outside, and they hadn&apos;t been under watch.
		No matter.
		The first cart that I&apos;d considered taking before was actually behind some other business and would likely still be there, alone.
		I headed there, and although it was further away, I got the shopping cart that I needed.
		I&apos;m not proud that I jacked it, but to leave the fact that I took it out of my journal would be to omit a piece of my history.
		By the time that I got this shopping cart back to my mother&apos;s house, I was drenched.
		That was not a good sign for my belongings.
	</p>
	<p>
		After I loaded a large box that didn&apos;t really fit into the cart, along with my pillows, monitor, and mattress, I found the reason that the cart had been left behind the store.
		It had a bum wheel; the tire was split in two.
		When the tire was resting normally, which was the case when the cart was unburdened, the damage was unnoticeable.
		However, when the tire came apart, it was worse than not having a tire.
		the wheel became completely locked, as the pieces of the tire jammed the wheel&apos;s sides against the metal that held the wheel to the cart.
		Perhaps the store had put the cart back there away from customers so that customers would use still-functioning carts instead.
		Or perhaps a homeless person had abandoned the cart back there because of the ruined tire, and its proximity to the store was simply because that&apos;s where the homeless person had stolen their new cart.
	</p>
	<p>
		A thought crossed my mind: in desperation, I jacked a shopping cart like a homeless person.
	</p>
	<p>
		I considered switching carts partway through the trip.
		I&apos;d be passing by the store with the guarded carts, but it was further after hours now.
		Perhaps the employee would have gone home by now.
		However, that wasn&apos;t feasible.
		I&apos;d have to live with the fact that I hadn&apos;t thought to check the cart&apos;s wheels before I took it.
		I had had to jam that box into the cart, and it had compromised the integrity of the cardboard a bit.
		If I switched carts, I&apos;d have to potentially damage the box further and increase the risk of water damage to my belongings.
		furthermore, I&apos;d have to cross the parking lot of the store, and that detour would keep me in the rain longer than the bum wheel likely would.
		The costs of switching outweighed the potential gain.
	</p>
	<p>
		The mattress was of course taller than I am, and due to the positioning of the shopping cart&apos;s handle, I couldn&apos;t lay the mattress in such a way that I&apos;d have a narrow, long load.
		Instead, I had a wide load that was short from front to back.
		That caused problems, as I kept hitting into things such as bushes and fences along the narrow sidewalk.
		At one point, I even had to take the shopping cart slightly off the sidewalk, and that didn&apos;t end well.
		I ended up quite a bit off the sidewalk and stuck, just within view of my apartment complex.
		It was very frustrating, but after a bit, I realized that to get the cart past the fence and back on track, I needed to turn it around and pull it instead of pushing.
		Had I realized just how narrow of a space that I had to work with there, I&apos;d have taken the street instead of the sidewalk for that section.
	</p>
	<p>
		By the time I got home, the mattress was soaked.
		It had taken most of the blunt of the rain though, protecting the rest of my stuff.
		The monitor and pillows were in a large bag, but it had holes when I had started using it and the corners of the monitor had ripped more holes.
		The box had been wrapped in a large, single-use, emergency rain poncho.
		I&apos;m not sure if that was actually needed though because the mattress blocked most of the rain, but I hadn&apos;t thought that I&apos;d be able to take the box and the mattress in one trip.
		The box was too tall.
		I had ended up turning it sideways and jamming it into the cart to make it fit to where the mattress could rest on the top of the shopping cart basket.
		The box was difficult to remove from the cart, too.
		I ended up having to tip the cart on end to keep the box from sliding back down as I pulled it out little by little.
		I was right not to try to switch carts.
	</p>
	<p>
		The fitted sheet on the mattress was utterly drenched.
		That was water that wasn&apos;t actually on the mattress though.
		I mean, the mattress was still very wet, but removing the sheet took care of a lot of it.
		I set the mattress on end in the bathtub to drip dry.
		The box seemed dry.
		My laundry bag was drenched, but that was of little consequence.
		The pillows were a little wet near one edge, but the monitor was mostly dry.
	</p>
	<p>
		That load took a lot more out of me than a normal, on-foot load would have.
		After returning the shopping cart to the store from which it came, I returned to my mother&apos;s place to rest, with no pillow and no mattress.
		I can&apos;t find either of the blankets that I know for sure are mine.
		I&apos;ll be taking this one blanket that I&apos;m almost certain is mine unless my mother objects, but with only one blanket, I&apos;m going to be very cold at night.
	</p>
	<p>
		I did not sleep well.
		For one thing, sleeping on the floor is hard on my back.
		For another, I always wake up before 08:00 lately, regardless of when I go to bed.
		It was past 03:00 when I finally got back went to bed, so that didn&apos;t leave me enough time to rest.
		One night with less sleep would be one thing, but I haven&apos;t been getting enough sleep any night for weeks, so this continues my streak.
		I&apos;m losing my sense of time.
		I thought that today was Tuesday as far as my mother&apos;s work schedule was concerned.
		That is to say, I thought that my mother had only Monday (yesterday) off, so I was surprised that they were home today.
		At the same time though, I knew that today was the real Monday, as I was planning to go into work tonight for my Monday shift.
		Tomorrow, the real Tuesday, would be my first day off from work for the week.
		Later in the day, I started thinking that it was some other day, but I forget which one.
		the stress and lack of sleep are really getting to me.
		This will all be over soon though.
		This will all be over soon.
	</p>
	<p>
		Although I saw good success tonight in taking the largest remaining things that I have home, I have failed to bring completely everything that remains.
		As far as the binary success that I promised last night, I have failed to meet my goal.
		If measuring partial successes as actually counting for something though, I&apos;ve done very well so far and have paved the way for future success.
		Yeah, I know, that&apos;s just rationalization, trying to excuse my lack of energy, or actually, my inability to push through even when exhausted.
		I need that right now though.
		I&apos;m out of energy and need to feel like I actually got somewhere.
		In any case, without this trip last night, I would be doomed to fail.
		In all honesty, even though this is simply a rationalization, the trip early this morning really did ensure my success tomorrow, a success that I wouldn&apos;t otherwise have been able to achieve.
	</p>
	<p>
		Instead of completing the moving today, I spent the rest of the day working on coursework, then went to my day (night?) job.
		With more of my coursework done, I should have more time tomorrow to finish up the move.
		I had better actually finish up tomorrow though, as that&apos;s when we agreed that I&apos;d be out.
		My mother also wanted to have a long talk, ostensibly in an attempt to undo the damage that they did yesterday.
		However, they continued to try to justify their actions, and when I compared their interactions with me to their interactions with other people, they started trying to defend those interactions too.
		Long story short, my mother still thinks that they&apos;re entitled to things and that they shouldn&apos;t have to ask for <del>anything</del> <ins>certain things that they really should ask for if they actually want</ins>.
		My exhaustion today has set back my move by a day, I won&apos;t lie.
		However, aside from the delay, the finalization of my move out will proceed as planned.
		If all goes well, this will be my final night sleeping on the floor.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
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